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Minus a crucial paragraph or two that mentioned the broader context, this was originally posted as a standalone piece for an unrelated prompt on the kink meme. (If anyone actually guessed Dogs of War was the larger story it was destined to be part of, I will be very impressed.)

Title: Let Slip the Dogs of War
Summary: Wade gets around to dealing with a little unfinished business. And he never does these things by halves.
Characters/Pairing: Cable/Deadpool
Chapter: Epilogue 1
Word Count: 1100
Rating: PG
Previous Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Something colourful and papery went crunch under Cable's boot in the doorway to his quarters, but before he'd had the chance to investigate further, the sight of the room within had distracted him. For a split-second he was almost convinced he must have walked into the wrong room by mistake.

“Hel-lo sailor!

Cable took a long, bemused look around what had been until this morning among the more spartanly furnished rooms on all of Providence, now redecorated to a point that defied conventional adjectives. The presence of Wade draped... expressively across his bed was probably the least incongruous feature.


“Nuh-uh, today you can call me Wabio, mutant X-Man with the power of luuuurve!”

Cable decided now was not the time to remind Wade about his continued lack of X-Men membership.

In the two weeks that had elapsed since their return from Apocalypse's universe, Wade had spent most of his time sobbing happy tears at his reunion with his television (and renewed 24 hour access to every television program he'd ever proclaimed to hate), and getting in touch with the few friends who'd cared enough about him to come to his funeral (usually by leaping out at them wearing a white sheet and shouting 'Boo!') No further mention had been made of his stated intentions of taking 'a shot' at Cable by either party. Until now.

Clearly he should have taken Wade's silence on the subject as a warning.

“Are those Halloween candles?” he asked.

“Yeah, I was gonna get the regular kind with scented herby stuff and what, but these ones are way cooler.”

“I didn't think I'd ever live to see you buying Mickey Mouse merchandise.”

“Oh, that one – pretty lame now, but you just wait until his head's half-melted – he turns into this awesome zombie-alien-tentacle-Disney thing. That's what I call a Halloween candle.”

Cable gave the bed a long stare. “Are those really Deadpool-print silk sheets?”

“I know red's traditional but if we're already doing my favourite colour scheme I thought, why not go all out?”

“I'm just a little confused about all the confetti.”

“I was gonna get rose petals but this is more colourful. And crunchy! And if anyone tells you anything about some kind of explosion down in the florist district I wasn't even in the area, I swear!”

“The bow must have been tricky to tie from your angle.”

“Not when you can dislocate both wrists!”

“Though I notice you're at least still fully clothed.”

“Unwrapping your present's half the fun, right Nate?”

There was a short, awkward silence.

“I'm not being too subtle, am I?” asked Wade, body language, even through the mask, just the slightest bit nervous. “I know you come from that wacky future where stripping down in front of each other don't mean jack, so I wanted to be really sure we wouldn't be getting any messages mixed up...”

“No, Wade,” said Cable, smiling. “This is definitely the most effort anyone's ever made to seduce me. I'm oddly flattered.”

“Okay, but your tone is telling me – and I know I'm gonna wreck my whole reputation by not having a witty double-entendre to go with this – there's a 'but' coming.”

“But I have a teleconference with the UN scheduled in fifteen minutes.”

“Oh.” Sprawled on the bed with posture most people would have to break something to achieve, everything about Wade still found a way to droop. “You couldn't reschedule it for later or something?”

“With fifteen minutes' warning, not really.”

“You could tell them some horrible threat to mankind came up and you had to run off to help your fellow X-Men?”

“I don't particularly like the odds that none of them will check the veracity of a story about a threat to mankind.”

“Well. Fifteen minutes, we could still–”

“I'm going to need most of those minutes to prepare.”

“Oh.” Wade drooped even further. “Guess not then. But if it's just a teleconference, you could do that multitasking thing with the Infonet where–”

“I'm not quite up to that level of distributed concentration. You're thinking of Tony Stark again.”

“Better believe I wouldn't be thinking of Tony Stark if we were getting naked about now.”

“I'm sorry, Wade. You didn't pick the best time to spring this on me.”

Defeated, Wade gave up on draping altogether and curled up disappointed little ball on the bed. “Okay, but Nate, if the UN-thing is just your way of letting me down gently...”

“I'm free afterwards.”

“...then you... huh?”

“You'll have to give me a few hours,” Cable admitted, “international politics has a way of dragging out longer than scheduled – but after that, I've got a window free for the rest of the evening. I'm all yours.”



Really really? Really seriously really?”

“I'm serious.”

Wade leapt off the bed with a whoop of joy, and for a couple of seconds Cable was treated to the odd experience of being kissed through Wade's Deadpool mask.

As Wade went cavorting around the room, happily singing something about having a 'personal GI Jesus', Cable reflected that it was going to be a very long teleconference.


“...find out if you're a screamer, reach out and touch... yes?”

“I've now got nine minutes left. I'll come and find you when I'm done, alright?”

“Sure thing, Nate-baby! Oh my god, you're the best, Nate, wahoooooooo!”

The last vowel sound trailed away into the distance as Wade leapt out of the window, and danced happily away over the rooftop. Cable shook his head with a wry smile, looked around his quarters one more time, and opened a comm link.

“Irene? I'm going to need you to convey my apologies to the Argentinean trade delegation – the Avengers too. Something urgent has come up, I'm going to have to reschedule the rest of my meetings today.”

“X-Men urgent?” asked Irene, sounding, to her credit, not particularly surprised by the request.

“Not exactly. Also, I'm going to need you to have a cleaner sent up to my quarters while I'm at the teleconference.”

“A cleaner? Is this related to your 'urgent' thing? Oh god, don't tell me – Wade's involved, isn't he? Wait, I don't want to know.”

“Probably not,” replied Cable, and closed the link.

Epilogue 2


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 7th, 2009 03:36 pm (UTC)
Wade Wilson, disruptor of international relations. <3
Oct. 8th, 2009 04:12 am (UTC)
XD Oh yeah, Cable is going to be spending that meeting just a little distracted.
Oct. 7th, 2009 08:11 pm (UTC)
Wow, no - I would never ever have guessed this was an epilogue part of Dogs. Too funny. Course it fits perfectly though, and is adorable to boot.

Edited at 2009-10-07 08:15 pm (UTC)
Oct. 8th, 2009 04:27 am (UTC)
While I could see Wade doing this pretty much just out of the blue, it does make a bit more sense in the context of their conversation in part 8, doesn't it? ;) Glad you liked it. ^_^
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 8th, 2009 04:27 am (UTC)
^_^ Thanks!
Oct. 8th, 2009 04:00 pm (UTC)
I think I remember this! Now that I know this Wade is not that Wade though, it's... is this what one calls bitter-sweet? Sort of. I mean, it all seems so simple before if it's just Wade and Cable, but it's now Appocal!Wade and Cable and it's somehow heart-warming to see them happily together.
Oct. 9th, 2009 10:59 am (UTC)
I think 'bittersweet' would be more if there was something to be sad about in the mix - which you could argue there is since alternate versions of both of them had to die before these two wound up together, but I don't think that was what you were getting at? But it does put a different spin on this scene when you know what they've gone through to get to it - and the epilogues are all about showing things working out for them afterwards. (Well, that and resolving those last few little details that still needed resolving.)
Oct. 12th, 2009 03:43 am (UTC)
Holy fucking shit! (Opps - hope you don't mind me openly cursing in my comment/review) This story was EPIC defined. I heart it so, and the epilogue makes me all warm and fuzzy. ^_^ The writing is fantastically well-done, everyone was perfectly in character, and I love the idea of Cable working with Avengers. The whole alternate-you-is-dead thing made me tear up, and I was scared that you were gonna end this with Cable leaving Wade to go back to whence he came. I'm so glad you ended it in a happy way! (I ship Cable/Wade hardcore, in case you couldn't tell.)

Can't wait for Epiloge 2, and I'm excited for your other stuff you may be working on. <3
Oct. 12th, 2009 06:20 am (UTC)
Wow, thanks! Really flattered you enjoyed this so much. =D (Never fear, profanity is only one of the many things in comments I am happy to take as a compliment.)

I love the idea of Cable working with Avengers.

That would be one of those little side things about this story that came together unexpectedly well - I mean, I needed Cable to be a) part of a team that b) I'd read enough about to write about, c) included characters who'd make things like the Spider-Man/Deadpool and Luke Cage/Cable conversations work, and preferably d) would give a strong hint that this Cable wasn't quite from the universe we're used to. (And considering how many characters there are in here that I'd never written for before, believe me when I say every comment I get complimenting me on characterisation comes as a big relief.)

I was scared that you were gonna end this with Cable leaving Wade to go back to whence he came. I'm so glad you ended it in a happy way!

*cough* Don't tell anyone, but I'm pretty sure my very first thought after reading the drabble that inspired this was along the lines of, "Aw, poor Wade - clearly what he needs is to have an AU!Cable 'port in with the cavalry and help him with that. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN." The massive fake-out at the end of part 6 aside, it never so much as crossed my mind to end this any other way. ^^;

Can't wait for Epiloge 2, and I'm excited for your other stuff you may be working on. <3

Ahah, fun fact on ep. 2 - it plus the side story are now more than half as long as everything else I've posted from this fic so far. And I'm still nowhere near done with the side story yet. And while I'm most of the way through the first part of the 'other stuff' I mentioned working on, it looks like it's going to be staying on the backburner until I'm done with this world after all. Which I'm sure won't bother anyone too much. ^^; Er, anyway - you can pretty well count on seeing a lot more from me around this fandom for a while.

I... also seem to have started a third story here somehow. >.>
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )


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