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Title: The Medium-Sized Merman
Summary: You know the story - there's a handsome prince, an unfortunate shipwreck, and old sea-witch, and a lovesick mer-something. The rest may all be excused as interpretation.
Word count: 4100
Rating: PG
Warnings: Do not let the opening paragraphs fool you, this is CRACK in its most shameless, shameless form.

Notes: Right. Er. I made most of my excuses for this one back when I posted that first random scene (now all betaed and reposted as the second part of this chapter), so repeating them all here may look a little sad. But I should admit up front that this was at least semi-inspired by this fandom's other Little Mermaid AU The Little Merpool, and that really I wouldn't have bothered with it at all had the former not left me with so many ideas for other things that could be done with the same basic concept had it taken off in a completely tangential direction. Like, for example, the possibility of mashing up the idea with any of the various mythologies that portray mermen as rather more humanoid and/or much less attractive than their feminine counterparts - and, if that's not a Deadpool story, I don't know what is.

I should also admit up front that I have no idea if there is likely to be more of this. I'm not even entirely certain if this is part one - but if not, I promise to follow standard Marvel procedure of numbering previous chapters with zeros, decimals, or negative numbers, or something similarly engineered to remove all possible confusion.




1.

The first thing Nathan does on waking is to roll over onto his hands and knees and retch. Small mercy that he seems to have already emptied the rest of the contents of his stomach earlier this evening; he doesn't like to guess how much seawater must have made it into his stomach or lungs before he'd been dragged ashore, barely lasting that long before passing out. Every part of his body aches; even breathing comes with an unpleasant twinge at the base of his chest. His mouth tastes of seawater and bile; never in his life has he wanted a glass of water so badly.

Never in his life has he felt so grateful just to be alive.

The memories leading up to how he came to be here are uncomfortably sharp. The storm, the great bolt of lighting that had set the mast afire, waves so huge one had picked up the lifeboat and tossed it like a leaf. He remembers finding a broken plank torn free in the wreckage and clinging to it for what felt like hours before even that was wrest away from him. He'd been so sure he was done for by the time he'd caught sight of the dark shape swimming towards him – man-sized and shaped, head, arms and legs all silhouetted clearly against the dark water in the light of a lightning strike, but no man could have swum against the waves in a sea so wild. He'd remembered the legends of the mermen who haunted wrecks for the pleasure of making sure the sea claimed as many lives as possible, felt strong arms wrapping around his body and thought to himself, this is how it ends. But instead, whoever or whatever it was who'd found him had carried him back to the surface and dragged his limp body all the way to shore.

And there, apparently, deserted him?

Nathan sits up and takes stock of his surroundings. He's alone on a rocky beach, but the distant sound of the waves and the fine, dry sand under his fingernails stand as proof that something has carried him well beyond the waterline. The storm appears to have blown over some time past and the stars are out, but there's no moon – most of the light comes instead from a small fire someone has made in a pile of driftwood close enough to be a comforting glow in the freezing night air.

Maybe whoever rescued him has gone to find help? It seems odd that they wouldn't have waited with him until he'd regained consciousness at the very least, and now that he's cleared his mind enough to remember, hadn't he heard the sound of footsteps hurrying away over the sand just as he'd woken up?

Nathan looks around himself again, suddenly apprehensive for reasons he can't quite articulate.

“Hello?” he calls. His throat turns it into an ugly rasp and starts him coughing again.

There's a scuffling noise from behind a rock not far away, and the sound of pebbles being displaced to clatter noisily for some distance over more rock before they make it to the sand.

Nathan's head whips around. “Is someone there?” he manages, a little louder.

“No?” says someone in a voice like gravel. It doesn't sound that much better than Nathan's own, though the clear note of uncertainty that comes through nonetheless would seem to suggest that this is the speaker's natural state rather than something brought on by a similar ordeal.

“Why are you hiding?” Nathan asks.

“Oh. Ah. Well, y'see, the truth is, I can't come out because I'm under a nasty curse!” says the voice.

“A curse?” Nathan echoes.

“Yeah, a curse!” the speaker repeats. “Very nasty. Very curse-y. Anyone who sees me gets turned into a frog. Pretty well murdered my social calendar, I'm sure you can imagine. So you see, it's going to be in everyone's best interests if I stay behind this rock for now.”

“That sounds... nasty,” Nathan agrees, vaguely. He's not awake enough for all his critical faculties to have come back on line, but the idea of a curse that specific seems dubious at best.

“Yeah, but what can you do. Witches, huh?” says the voice.

“But you were the one who rescued me?” Nathan asks, foolishly imagining this would have to be an easier question.

“Rescued, okay, yeah, you could call it that,” the voice admits, with startling reluctance. “If you call just happening to spot some poor bastard drowning his way through your patch and dragging him a little way to the nearest bit of dry stuff 'rescuing', then yeah, you could say I rescued you. But y'know, no big deal, I was heading this way anyway and all.”

There's an awful lot about that speech that Nathan finds confusing, but the part to stand out is, “A little way?” He's sure they'd been out of sight of the shore when the storm had hit; even if it had blown them miles off course they should have been hours out from land. “Where are we?”

“Er, not so good with place names,” says the voice. “It's that bit of coast that juts out around that big rock that looks like a walrus with one big tusk, gets all covered in a foot deep of birdshit in the calm season. You know the one?”

It takes a minute, but Nathan does. It's not so very far from home – he remembers being warned never to go swimming near there as a boy because the currents that go spiralling around the rocks could rip a man out to sea and dash his body to death before he knew what was happening. “You got me ashore there? How? You didn't even have a boat, no man could...” There he trails off, half-remembered visions taking on a startling new meaning.

“Oh, did I say the walrus-head rock?” says the voice quickly. “Must've got that wrong. Yeah, I remember! What I meant was the walrus-tail rock, not so distinctive, not as popular with the birds, bit down the coastline where it's quieter...”

“When I was sinking,” says Nathan, ignoring him, “for just a moment I could have sworn I saw a merman.”

“Now look here,” says the voice, though it comes across more nervous than properly indignant, “just because a man has a bit of an unfortunate curse situation is no cause to go calling him names.”

“You swam from the middle of the storm dragging my full weight,” says Nathan, reasoning it out slowly. “No human could have done that.”

“It was more like the edge of the storm when I found you, notthatIwaslooking or anything, I was more sort of...”

“Is that why you won't let me see you?” Nathan asks gently.

The owner of the voice huffs out a breath then goes silent for a moment. “Okay, fine. You got me. I'm as merm as a man can be. But I still can't come out from behind this rock because of the curse thing.”

Nathan gives up and changes the subject. “Do you have a name?”

“Uh...” says the merman, and hesitates yet again; Nathan is starting to get the uncomfortable impression that there is no such thing as an innocent question in mer-culture. “You can call me Deadpool.”

“Deadpool?” Watery and dangerous – actually, that's rather fitting.

“Yeah, well, Stillwater was taken, and it beat Doom-lagoon,” says Deadpool, defensive.

“Sorry,” says Nathan. “I didn't mean to sound like I was laughing at you. I couldn't, considering my full name.”

“Yeah?”

“It's Nathanial Christopher Charles Dayspring Askani'son Summers.”

Deadpool whistles. “Damn.”

“I know.” It's a hazard of being descended from royalty, is on the tip of his tongue, but he hesitates, not sure if this is the time or place to go dropping his royal credentials like that. “My friends call me Nathan, or Nate. Whichever you prefer.”

“Don't blame 'em,” says Deadpool, though being counted as one of Nathan's friends obviously pleases him. “Nate, huh?”

“What I was trying to lead up to saying there, Deadpool,” says Nathan, “is that, whether you're human or not makes no difference, I owe you my life. There's no way I could ever thank you enough.”

Something about this outpouring of sincerity seems to make Deadpool uncomfortable again. “Uh, might wanna be a bit more careful with the big declarations of gratitude around the mythical types, Nate. Could find yourself promising a debt that's gonna come back and bite you somewhere personal, if you know what I mean.”

This is all said in such an offhand way that it leaves Nathan completely unable to assess whether it's just been threatened. “Is that the sort of thing you're likely to do?”

“Well nooooo, I'm just saying, if I was that way inclined...”

Nathan almost tells him whatever he wants, just ask. He's saved the life of the crown prince of Providence – there's little he could want that isn't in Nathan's power to give, but something in Deadpool's demeanour shrieks don't tempt me.

He opts for changing the subject again instead. “Is there any water around?” He might not be in much of a state to make sense of whatever Deadpool's trying to tell him, but he is still horribly thirsty.

“How about the ocean?” says Deadpool. “Oh – oh – you mean land-water, without the salt? Um, tide's been out for hours and it rained a whole lot earlier so anything you find in the rock pools around here ought to be pretty fresh. If you're careful not to look I could have a scope around for you.”

“Alright,” Nathan lies back down on the sand and slings an arm over his eyes. After a minute he starts to hear Deadpool moving around, sometimes quite close. The urge to peek itches at him.

“Don't look yet,” says Deadpool, after a bit, “But I found some that tastes like there's not much salt in it. Can you hear where my voice is coming from?”

Nathan lifts his hand and points. “About there?”

“Little to your left – that's it. There's a big rock where you're pointing, and there's a crevice on the other side with the water in it. I'm gonna go hide again now and then you can go find it, okay?”

“Okay,” Nathan follows the sound of Deadpool's footsteps back behind his original rock. He can't help but wonder if all this is really necessary.

“Okay, I'm good,” he says at last. Nathan opens his eyes.

His muscles are not at all pleased to be asked to carry him even that far – moving hurts – but he finds the crack fairly quickly. There's enough water there for him to scoop up a few mouthfuls in his hands, and if there's any salt in it he doesn't notice – water has never in his life tasted so good. He limps back to the fire feeling a little better.

The worst of the whole excursion is that the moment he's out of the fire light the cold finds him. With the novelty of his talk with Deadpool to distract him it had been easy enough to ignore, but the fact remains that even with the fire he'd been lying in the open in damp clothes on a cold night, and by the time he gets back he's not sure he's going to be able to forget it again. Recognition is sinking in, meanwhile, that no-one knows to look for him out here, and there's no way he's going to make it back to civilisation tonight.

“I suppose I'd better try to get some sleep,” he says aloud.

“Okay. I'll stick around a bit?” says Deadpool. Nathan is on the edge of concluding he's just not used to talking to humans – everything he says comes out sounding uncertain.

“I'd rather not be alone out here,” Nathan admits, which is true even if his only companion won't come out from behind his rock. He curls himself up as close to the fire as he can bear. It doesn't help as much as he'd hoped – the warm glow on his face can do little against the chill of the wind on his back. He rolls over once or twice, trying to warm his body more evenly, but it's not greatly effective. He'll sleep eventually, he's dead tired, but he's going to wake up freezing, and every aching muscle on his body is going to be all the worse for it.

“You alright down there?” says Deadpool's voice, startling him. “You're shaking around a lot.”

“I'm freezing,” Nathan admits.

“You're cold? But I made a fire and everything!”

Nathan is reminded once more he's talking to a man who lives in the ocean. “I'm getting the idea that humans feel the cold a lot more than you do.”

“Didn't think it would be that bad.”

“Allow me to enlighten you then:” says Nathan, teeth chattering, “it is.” It's no fault of Deadpool's, who's already done more for him than Nathan can ever repay, but to have one's suffering questioned by someone not similarly afflicted is no help.

He hears Deadpool shift again, sand crunching behind his rock. “If you like I could. Um. I mean, if it's that bad. You'd have to, y'know, be really careful not to look though.”

“Okay,” says Nathan, though he's less than sure exactly what he's agreed to. He squeezes his eyes tightly shut and rolls back to face the fire.

He hardly hears the merman this time, footsteps light over the sand; the first he's sure Deadpool has moved at all is a shift in the air currents at his back, the softest crunch of the sand as he settles his weight behind Nathan and lets out a breath that tickles the back of his neck. Deadpool's every movement is haltingly tentative as he wraps an arm over Nathan's chest and curls up behind him, close enough to share body heat.

“That better?” Deadpool whispers.

Deadpool's bare skin is cool where it touches Nathan's own, but to the chill of the night air there's no comparison. Already he feels incalculably warmer. “Yes, much better. Thank you.”

“Okay, I.... guess I'll stay here a while then,” says Deadpool. Nate hums in agreement. It's hard to guess whether Deadpool's shyness has more to do with his supposed curse or the uncomfortable intimacy of the position they've placed themselves in, and it oughtn't to be relaxing, but Nate is bone-tired and for the first time in hours he feels warm and safe. He falls fast asleep in minutes.

***

He wakes in the pre-dawn glow of early morning, sleepy and stiff and instantly curious about the strange weight he can feel resting at his back. He rolls over the other way to give himself a proper look.

The grossly deformed features that make up Deadpool's face come into focus so slowly as Nate blinks sleep out of his eyes that the moment when he ought to have startled and recoiled passes him by without incident. Memories of the previous day trickle slowly back to him.

Oh, is his first clear thought of the morning, that's why he wouldn't let me see him. It takes him several minutes longer to remember Deadpool's story about his 'curse' and it's no surprise for Nathan to note that, despite that he's looking Deadpool right in the face he's feeling no more amphibious than usual. Perhaps he should be disgusted by the thought of being tricked into spending the night cuddled up against so hideous a creature, but all Nathan can bring himself to feel for Deadpool is the most heartbreaking sadness and pity, that he should have saved a prince's life and still be too consumed by the fear of rejection to show his face.

Well, no matter, Deadpool will wake up soon, and he'll wake to see a Nate who's seen his face and thinks no less of him. Then they can... well, he's not sure what comes next, but they'll figure that out when they get to it.

He considers waking Deadpool up right away, but decides against it. To drag a human so far last night must have been incredibly exhausting, even for one born for life in the sea. He's earned the right to sleep in.

***

When Nate wakes again, the sun has risen a full width above the horizon, to an angle that glares blindingly off the sea and the pale beach sand.

The fire has burnt out, probably hours ago, and even in the sun's full glare Nathan feels terribly cold.

He's alone. Deadpool is nowhere to be found.




2.

Prince Nathanial Christopher Charles Dayspring Askani'son Summers isn't usually in the habit of taking long walks on the beach. Or anywhere, as a general rule. When he's in the mood for quiet contemplation he does it inside, where there are fewer opportunities for obsessive royalists to leap out at him unexpectedly.

Then again, he's not usually in the habit of being rescued by enigmatic mermen who vanish before he can thank them properly either, so perhaps it's just that sort of week.

He wishes he knew what he was doing out here.

Alright, that's not true, what he really wishes is that he had a better explanation than the insane idea that his rescuer might just pop his head out of the waves and let Nathan wave him over for a chat if he makes himself visible enough. Anyone could have told him what a long shot this was in an ocean this size. Given that one of few things Nathan does know about Deadpool is his firm aversion to being seen at all, it would be a long shot even were the ocean the size of a millpond. All he can say in defence of the idea is that it's surely no more crazy than the idea of a merman saving a human's life in the first place, and he knows that happened, even if the rest of the court is convinced it was no more than a fever dream brought on by swallowing too much seawater.

Everyone knows that mermen are ugly, vicious creatures without an ounce of love for mankind to share between them; more naturally inclined to drag a hapless sailor down to his doom in a fit of cackling glee than carry him ashore. So either what everyone knows about mermen is wrong or Nathan has encountered the one exception, and it bothers him that he has no way of knowing which. It hadn't seemed polite to ask at the time, considering the effort it had taken just to get the admission that his mysterious rescuer was a merman in the first place. If Nathan had to guess he'd say Deadpool had seemed more than a little embarrassed to have been caught helping a human.

If that's true – if Deadpool had done something the rest of his race would disapprove of in order to help him – that only makes Nathan's debt to him all the greater. Unfortunately, staring out into the ocean fails to grant him any particular insight into how he's going to go about ever finding one merman in all the ocean again.

Nathan still has no idea what he thinks he's doing out here.

Sighing, he turns back towards home just in time to watch a large wave tumbling a naked man up the beach not twenty feet away. For a moment Nathan wonders whether the sea has delivered him his merman after all, but on a second look the man is plainly human. He's also plainly in serious need of some help.

Nathan doesn't stop to wonder what a naked man is doing out there, just tosses his coat onto the sand and charges into the surf. The next wave reaches the floundering man a moment before Nathan does and he goes under; Nathan pulls him up coughing and spluttering. He goes mostly limp as Nathan drags him up the beach and rolls him on to his side on the edge of the waveline. There the man proceeds to cough up another couple of mouthfuls of water and finally flop over onto his back, panting. Nathan lets him lie there for a while as he gets his breath back. The edge of a few waves wash up as far as his legs, slowly eroding sand out under him like an irritable landlord, but he's otherwise in no more danger from the sea up here.

After a minute he opens his eyes. Nathan leans over him, concerned.

“Are you alright?” he asks.

Nathan has just time to register the man reaching for him before he becomes aware that he's being kissed enthusiastically on the lips by someone who tastes strongly of seawater.

Alright, thinks Nathan. Apparently this man is very grateful for his help. Or possibly foreign. One of those things.

The man stops kissing him again just as suddenly and stares off into the distance for a confusing moment, like he's just remembered something worrying or heard something Nathan hasn't. Automatically, Nathan turns to look in the same direction. There's nothing there. Odd.

When he looks back the man has shaken himself out of his daze and is gazing at Nathan as though he's just discovered religion. It makes Nathan faintly uncomfortable.

“It was nothing really,” he says, standing up. The man's gaze follows him. There's something tantalisingly familiar about him that Nathan can't quite place. At least he does seem to be alright, he supposes as he looks the man over, not to mention quite. Er. Quite.

It's at about this moment that the man seems to remember that he's still very naked and hurriedly covers himself up with both hands. He looks up at Nathan accusingly, then down at his hands again. It's far too late to hope he hadn't noticed Nathan looking.

“I didn't mean...” Nathan stammers.

The man looks back up and waggles his eyebrows at him.

Perhaps he's very foreign, thinks Nathan, feeling a little helpless.

“Look, I... you can borrow my coat,” he offers, and hurries off to retrieve it, grateful for the distraction.

It's too big on the man and he has to help him with the sleeves, but at least it's long enough to hang down to his thighs, which makes things much less awkward for both of them. Again, the man looks inordinately grateful; Nathan doesn't have the heart to tell him that he's very fond of that coat himself and is going to want it back.

“Now maybe you could tell me how you came to be out here,” he prompts.

The man's shoulders slump. He pats his throat significantly and Nathan is suddenly seeing his silence thus far in a new light.

“You can't speak?”

The man shakes his head, shoulders slumping even further.

“But you can understand me, can't you?”

The man nods vigorously. He can't be that foreign then, but something is still very much amiss here. “You're not from around here, are you?” Nathan hazards.

Another shake.

“I suppose it's not going to be much good me asking who you are and where you came from either then,” says Nathan, “Unless you could, er, mime it out, or something.”

The man considers, looks sharply at Nathan with an expression that suggests inspiration has struck, and then he charges back into the surf, wading out until the water is up to his knees. He points to himself, splashes around in exaggerated fashion for a bit, then points to himself again, willing Nathan to understand. Any fool could see he's trying to tell Nathan something important.

“You're.... called Wade?” Nathan guesses.

The man hits himself in the forehead with the palm of his hand and falls dramatically backwards into the water, probably ruining Nathan's coat in the process. Given the chance Nathan is sure he would have been a lot more embarrassed or insulted or something to that general effect by this reaction had he not been urgently occupied rushing into the waves to drag the man out again.

At least one thing about his origins is clear: wherever the man hails from must be dry as a bone, if he's lived to this age without getting enough experience with water to learn he can't breathe the stuff.

He lets Wade keep the coat – it's never going to be the same again anyway – and Wade lets Nathan keep calling him 'Wade', despite the name evidently not belonging to either of them. It's just going to have to do until they get a little better at this whole communication thing.

Comments

( 28 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
ryuhime
May. 23rd, 2011 06:07 pm (UTC)
This! It's wonderful.
(Anonymous)
May. 23rd, 2011 07:41 pm (UTC)
Wonderful!
I love this so much, it's so cute I want to dunk it in my coffee!

And you have Marvel dead to rights with the note regarding their numbering system: did you see that they numbered the Deadpool Team-Up book with DECREASING numbers?! How smart, how fun, how... completely and utterly STUPID! (Never mind me, I was just a tad irritated after the 10 seconds it took me to figure it out... )

*back to lurking waiting for more, a lot more!*

*Hee hee hee*
rallamajoop
May. 24th, 2011 04:14 am (UTC)
Re: Wonderful!
Aww, thanks! Not sure if/when I can promise more - I still have the HS AU to focus on as my main priority and Good Intentions horribly overdue for an update, but we'll see how it goes.

did you see that they numbered the Deadpool Team-Up book with DECREASING numbers?! How smart, how fun, how... completely and utterly STUPID! (Never mind me, I was just a tad irritated after the 10 seconds it took me to figure it out... )

Yeah, I gather that at least it's a fairly continuity-light title, so the order's not too important? Obviously, it's all a big stunt for the fun of it, but if you're not in on the joke from the start it would be pretty confusing. But when you're writing crackfic, it's nice to remind yourself now and then that nothing you come up with could be weirder than canon.
dangwhyme
May. 24th, 2011 12:23 pm (UTC)
Re: Wonderful!
Good Intentions

Oh! I'll be eagerly waiting for that update too.
rallamajoop
May. 25th, 2011 08:19 am (UTC)
Re: Wonderful!
Probably not going to be for a while yet, I'm afraid, but I haven't forgotten about Good Intentions, I promise!
(Anonymous)
May. 24th, 2011 11:48 pm (UTC)
Re: Wonderful!
This is great news, because I have been longing for the next part of Good Intentions and more of Summers' Son: I love all your C&DP fics and I totally blame you! :D

So thank you for providing me with a regular C&DP fix and with such different tones.

Finding good, intelligent and well-written fic with that pairing is quite rare, which is really strange when one stops to think about it... one would think that the contrast and history between two such well-established characters would lend itself to lots and lots of fanfiction. But not so much: so thank you so much for providing it in spades!
rallamajoop
May. 25th, 2011 08:18 am (UTC)
Re: Wonderful!
Yeah, I really didn't mean to let GI languish for so long, but I had a big unproductive spell over summer and I'm still probably not going to get back to it until I'm finished with the highschool AU, which has a few chapters left to go. It's my second priority fic-wise, but it'll be a little while yet before I get back to it properly.

So thank you for providing me with a regular C&DP fix and with such different tones.

You're very welcome, though it's no accident they're so different - the HS AU was something I started specifically because I was feeling like I needed some light relief from GI. It's just gotten away from me a little more than anticipated since. ^^;

which is really strange when one stops to think about it... one would think that the contrast and history between two such well-established characters would lend itself to lots and lots of fanfiction.

It'd be nice if that was the case, but comics fandom as a whole is rarely that prolific (even the busier branches are usually based more on the movies) and a lot of people find characters with detailed histories intimidating, especially when (like Cable's) those histories are incomprehensible and contradictory more often than not. The biggest burst of activity Cable/Deadpool fandom ever had was right after Deadpool had had his cameo in the Wolverine movie and the kink meme got going, but since the comic was already finished by then most people drifted away again within a few months. We did get an awful lot of incredible fic out of the kink meme while it lasted though - if you haven't checked it out yet I'd strongly recommend it. There's a fair bit of decent fic back in the community archives too, but until either the current comics status quo changes in a big way or Deadpool's solo movie makes it out, I doubt we'll be seeing too much new activity, more's the shame. Still, I was actually pleasantly surprised by just how much good fic there was in this fandom when I got into it - I've been through plenty with far less.
rallamajoop
May. 24th, 2011 03:17 am (UTC)
*g* Thanks!
rallamajoop
May. 24th, 2011 03:17 am (UTC)
IKR? So much about the idea of mermaid-Deadpool just fit together so ridiculously well - so of course I had to write fic about it. ^^;
etrangere
May. 23rd, 2011 09:16 pm (UTC)
THIS CONTINUES BEING AWESOME.

The dialogue between Wade and Nate seriously cracked me up:
“Okay, fine. You got me. I'm as merm as a man can be.
XD

“Yeah, well, Stillwater was taken, and it beat Doom-lagoon,” says Deadpool, defensive.
XDDD

and awwwww how adorable was all embarrassed Deadpool.

So merman!Deadpool has all the bumps & scars that canon!Deadpool has as well as (I presume) a merperson tail; and human!Wade has his regular human appearance (perhaps with hair! even!) as well as being human? Interesting. Is his merman!appearance that or is there really a curse involved? So many questions!
rallamajoop
May. 24th, 2011 03:59 am (UTC)
Glad you thought so, thanks! =D

“Yeah, well, Stillwater was taken, and it beat Doom-lagoon,” says Deadpool, defensive.
XDDD


*g* How convenient is it that both Wade's names have watery connotations? Just another reason why this had to be written.

and awwwww how adorable was all embarrassed Deadpool.

And while there may not be any gratuitous snuggling in any of the traditional versions of the story, it was an additon I felt pretty safe no-one would mind.

So merman!Deadpool has all the bumps & scars that canon!Deadpool has as well as (I presume) a merperson tail;

Nono, I really did mean it with the more-humanoid thing for mer-people in this universe. Mer-Deadpool does have legs, hence Nate seeing them in silhouette in the ocean and hearing footsteps in the sane and the rest. (I did try to cover that in story but since Nate doesn't get much of a look at him it may still be a little vague.) He's probably got webbed toes and gills and such, but otherwise the plot kind of depends on him being able to move around freely on land even pre-transformation. Think something along the lines of the Atlanteans in either the Marvel or DC universes, but without the pretty looks.

and human!Wade has his regular human appearance (perhaps with hair! even!) as well as being human?

Yep, that's it exactly, hair included.

Interesting. Is his merman!appearance that or is there really a curse involved? So many questions!

That's his normal appearance, the curse is purely something he made up to have an excuse to stay behind his rock. And I even get to say mythology supports me, since it's nearly as common in mythology for merpeople to be horribly ugly in traditional versions as it is for them to be stunningly beautiful! (Ironically, there are some versions where even when the females of the species *are* stunningly beautiful, the males are hideous. Which would be just Deadpool's luck.)

If I do get around to writing more of this I should probably try for a prequel chapter from Deadpool's POV, it'll give me the chance to explain all of this in more detail.
epiqabdr
May. 25th, 2011 11:38 am (UTC)
what can I say, I just loled so hard at this! lolololol
it's so cracky yet so sweet and fun and Nate as prince is scarily fitting...and seriously, biggest sacrifice for the witch to ever to come up with taking Wade's voice! xD something tells me that the witch must have been annoyed by his talking as well...lol
rallamajoop
May. 30th, 2011 09:41 am (UTC)
Well, what can I say - that was pretty much exactly the kind of the response I was hoping for. ;) Thanks!

and seriously, biggest sacrifice for the witch to ever to come up with taking Wade's voice! xD something tells me that the witch must have been annoyed by his talking as well...

It's no big spoiler to admit that the 'witch' in this story is Blind Al (a particularly memorable character from Deadpool's first ongoing solo series, if you're not familiar), so she's not so much evil as she traditionally might be, but you can bet she absolutely took a lot of pleasure in getting the opportunity to ask for that particular price. *g*
merianmoriarty
May. 25th, 2011 11:06 pm (UTC)
very foreign

ROFL
rallamajoop
May. 30th, 2011 09:42 am (UTC)
You know. From one of those... foreign places where it's normal for people to kiss each other when they meet. And stuff. There are places like that, right? ;)
janegray
May. 26th, 2011 10:32 pm (UTC)
This was great, I love retellings of fairy tales in fanfiction :D
rallamajoop
May. 30th, 2011 10:11 am (UTC)
Thanks! =D IME they can be a little hit and miss (soooo, much like all other fic, really), but by god there is good fun to be had with them when someone hits on a canon/fairytale mix that fits together well.
two_steps_left
May. 29th, 2011 05:33 am (UTC)
This is made entirely of win. And Deadpool's naturally-tragic nature fits in so well with Hans Christian Anderson. Telling things through Nate's point of view...all confused and stuff...that was just the icing on the cake. Thankyou!
rallamajoop
May. 30th, 2011 11:36 am (UTC)
Glad you liked it. ^_^

And Deadpool's naturally-tragic nature fits in so well with Hans Christian Anderson.

Gotta admit, the way Deadpool fits with the tragic aspects of the fairytale was what absolutely clinched the idea for me. I've actually read a pretty convincing argument that original Little Mermaid tale was all an overwrought metaphor for homosexual love (the alienation from a world you can see but never really be a part of, all that hopeless longing for someone who could never quite understand you or love you back for who you really are) - which would explain quite a bit. Granted, my plan for this story goes somewhere more along the lines of the Disney ending, but all the tragic elements still fit in nicely.

Telling things through Nate's point of view...all confused and stuff...that was just the icing on the cake. Thankyou!

If I do get around to continuing this, I think I will probably need a scene or two set before these from Deadpool's POV, but I couldn't bear to pass on showing all of Nate confusion meeting Deadpool for the first (and second) time. Required a bit more artistic license with the story, but what the hey.
(Anonymous)
Jul. 11th, 2011 09:50 pm (UTC)
For a minute at the second part I was thinking "Well why would deadpool have to give up his voice? In the mermaid story she had to give it up because it was her most important-"

And then I realized this was the merman with a mouth I was talking about. His voice is everything.

This is an amazing fic <3
rallamajoop
Jul. 12th, 2011 05:21 am (UTC)
Haha, thank you very much. :) It really was all the little details like the image of Mer-Deadpool dealing with not being able to speak that made the whole idea fit together so well that I had to write it all down.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 30th, 2012 11:19 pm (UTC)
Dude... I think I love you! But seriously, this is so crack-y cool and freaking spot on.

Earth 1203(or something!), the alternate-verse where all of Marvel's characters are fairy tale characters in their own way. What? Marvel did make those Fairy Tale issues back in the day, didn't they? But I digress.

What I was gonna say, is that this insane piece of awesome must be continued. *Big anime sad eyes* Please?
rallamajoop
Feb. 1st, 2012 02:06 am (UTC)
Always glad to entertain. *g* I don't know if I can promise any real continuation on this one, given the glacial pace I'm making on even the fastest moving WIPs I've got going at the moment, but I'm still sorta holding out on the hope inspiration from the mer-verse will strike me again at some point. I did have such fun coming up with this universe.
the_kumquat
Feb. 24th, 2012 02:22 am (UTC)
Oh god, please tell me there'll be more of this. Please. I love this fic so much I can barely put it into words. I didn't think the plot of The Little Mermaid would work so well with Deadpool and Cable but it does. It works perfectly. You are a genius.
rallamajoop
Mar. 2nd, 2012 02:12 am (UTC)
I'm very flattered, but I can only really echo what I said in my comment above: I'd love to continue this AU, but the inspiration isn't really biting lately. Maybe that'll change once I've got the last couple of chapters of the highschool AU finished and need more crack in my life - we'll see.
delmareve
Jul. 10th, 2012 02:39 am (UTC)
I've just read this TWICE in one sitting. I can't really put into words how much I love your writing, and how much I hope you'll continue this one day. ;) It was an extremely enjoyable read, and now that I think of it, Cable&Deadpool/The Little Mermaid parallels are quite mind-boggling. Wade's emotional vulnerability - how he can go from wisecracking ass one moment to insecure, depressed, occasionally suicidal and well-intentioned-but-slightly-misguided hero the next - is what makes him one of my absolute favorite characters. Once again, this was great! I take no credit for this, but this blog has made sure that my stockpile of Wade/Nathan feels are never very far behind: http://cablexdeadpool.tumblr.com/

o 3o
rallamajoop
Jul. 11th, 2012 01:36 pm (UTC)
Honestly I would love to be able to continue this story, it's only the logistic problems that keep getting in the way. (Nate's a sensible guy, how are they supposed to go three days without him realising Wade is Deadpool? Why would he fall in love with either of them when any sane person could see it's all superficial infatuation and hero worship? Why would Deadpool get so fixated on him in the first place? Why must it be so hard to make sensible people conform to the rules of fairy tale endings?!) Which is very annoying when, as you point out, the whole scenario fits Deadpool like a glove. Ah well, maybe someone else will come up with all the answers for me something will come to me eventually. ^^;

Ooh, that is a very nice tumblr! *bookmarks for future inspiration purposes* You should really link that from the main cabledeadpool comm so everyone can see it. :3
akira17
Sep. 25th, 2014 02:32 am (UTC)
awesome will there be more?
( 28 comments — Leave a comment )

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